


maybe in another reality

by geckointhegarbage (orphan_account)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, JUST, Lots of it, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Unrequited Love, angst my dudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 09:47:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14998223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/geckointhegarbage
Summary: keith has loved lance for 15 years





	maybe in another reality

Keith hesitated before knocking on his door.  _What if he isn't home? What if he moved? What if-_ _fuck it_ , and he knocked. He heard footsteps approaching from the other side. Keith stuffed his hands deep into his jacket pockets, and breathed. He ran through the speech he had in his head. He just had to say it, and leave. Then he'd never have to see him again. 

He heard the door unlock, and slowly open. Lance's face stood out in the doorway. His hair was disheveled, and he was wearing his glasses. A loose camo hoodie was over his torso, and grey sweats over his long legs. "Keith?" he asked, surprised. 

"Hey, Lance," Keith greeted, preparing himself for what was to come. 

"Can I help you?" Lance's eyes were full of concern and confusion. The gentle blue always took Keith's breath away. Every. Single. Time. 

"I'm leaving town today," Keith blurts out. "For good."

"Oh...," Lance runs a hand through his hair, still wondering why Keith, who he hasn't spoken to since middle school, was standing at his door. "That's nice, I guess?"

"And I just wanted to say something before I left."

"Um, okay?" Lance licked his bottom lip. Keith's heart ached, but he had to keep speaking. 

"I, um," Keith started, staring at his feet.  _There's no turning back now._ "Remember back when we were nine and sat across from each other?" 

"Yeah?"

"And we were kinda friends and then we saw each other over the summer at that party our parents were throwing? And I let you play on my iPod and you taught me how to play football and at the end of everything we were laying on the grass together laughing and smiling?"

"Mhmm, why are you asking me this?"

Keith took a deep breath. Blinked furiously. Begged the words to come out of his throat. "Because that day," he brought his eyes up to Lance's sparkling ones, "I fell in love with you." 

Lance's eyes widened in shock. His eyebrows furrowed together. He looked cute like that. Lance opened his mouth to spill out a million questions, but Keith cut him off. 

"And I know it's been 15 years. Trust me, I know. The whole time I lived my life wondering what it would have been like if you were there by my side. If you were my best friend. If I could've kissed you at prom, if your hugs were as wonderful as others said they were, if you liked me back, if I just sucked it up and told you 15 years earlier. If I had told you then, would I be afraid to move now? Afraid that I'd never see you again, or hear you laugh, or even know that you were alive?"

Keith choked on his words. The 15 years of sadness, anger, and regret all came spilling out from him, landing at Lance's feet. And Lance didn't know what to do.

"If I had told you then, would you love me now?"

Lance stared at him in disbelief. He felt incredibly guilty he didn't see this in his before. What could he do now?

"I remember once in high school there was a rumor that you liked a boy. And I remember thinking, hoping, that the boy was me. I knew it wasn't. It couldn't be me. I was too far away from you then, you couldn't love me then."

Keith chuckled bitterly. 

"And I was right, y'know? I was right. Because when you asked out Jay to prom you were the happiest I'd ever seen you. And when he said yes...," Keith blinked back a few tears. 

"It was like no one else mattered. No one else but Jay. And I knew then that you were in love with him. Ever since you met him when we were in the same history class in 7th grade. You loved him, and I was just being a self absorbed asshole who thought everything was about him. And I'm still that same self absorbed asshole who watched you and Jay take pictures together at graduation as I left alone. Because I don't have anyone, Lance. I never had anyone," Keith couldn't keep back the tears anymore. "Y-you even stopped me from killing myself. You know that? You turned to me once when we were 13 and stupid and in the middle of class and you made a stupid ass joke and I laughed and I realized that there was a reason for me to live. There was a reason that I should live and his name was Lance McClain!" 

"And I'm sorry I laid this all on you, Lance. I'm so sorry because you don't deserve it. You're so kind and beautiful and gentle and loving and caring and loyal and everything that anyone has ever wanted. I'm so sorry I did this to you but I had to get it out before I left because I will never see you again and I promised myself that I would tell you. One day," Keith stopped for a moment to take a breath and wipe his tears on his hoodie. He looked so pathetic and weak but he didn't care. He wouldn't see Lance's dumb face ever again after this, it wouldn't matter. 

"I love you, Lance. So much. I've loved you for so long, I don't even remember what my life was like without you somewhere in it. I know you have someone in your life now," he glances at the golden wedding band on Lance's left hand, "and I wish you both happiness, because that's all you deserve."

Keith finishes his speech. Lance is shocked, to say the least. He had no idea Keith felt this way about him. 

"Keith...," Lance starts, but no words come to mind. 

Keith hold up his hand, motioning for him to stop. "Don't," he says. "Don't say anything. I-I don't want to know. I just needed to tell you." Keith awkwardly turns away from the door, and starts walking down the hallway when Lance calls his name. 

"Keith!" Lance yells. "Where are you going?"

"New York," Keith says softly, not turning around. "Got a producing job there."

"Good luck," Lance calls after him. Keith keeps walking. If he stops, he'll collapse, and he doesn't think he'll have the will to get up again. 

Then he hears the apartment door shut. And lock. 

Keith feels a sob build up in his throat as he gets into the empty elevator. "Maybe in another reality," he reminds himself aloud. 

"Maybe in another reality I am lucky enough to be loved by you."

 

**Author's Note:**

> yeah,,,,thanks
> 
> tumblr: geckointhegarbage.tumblr.com  
> art tumblr: 88-20.tumblr.com


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